My world has lost its colour.
All i see is black and white,
and shades of grey.
I don't want the world to see me like this.
I need my haven of peace.
To friends who care:
Thank you for walking with me all this way.
To those unknown:
Please give me my haven of peace.
~^* About The Gal *^~
~^* Blog *^~
~^* Memories *^~
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~^* About Me *^~
A girl by the name of iCeZ.
Born on 17th March 1983.
Enjoys Music: Listening, Playing & Singing inclusive.
Also crazy about basketball with the Slingers but moving further and further from it.
Pain Addiction = Wakeboarding.
I'm CoLd... So DoNt ToUcH Me...
Friday, September 01, 2006 Me and Him
Ok, haven't been blogging for quite a while due to alot of things so shall try to update what i can in seperate postings. Well, let me first date back and start from my last post. Well... i guess like what i said, i'm really a fool. Still went down to watch his matches. But on sunday, my world crashed as my heart skipped a beat. Went down to watch his match and saw her there again, that has already made my heart sank but the worst was yet. I was chatting with my other refs when a commotion occured on the court. When i turned around to look, there i saw him throwing a punch on the opponent. My immediate reaction was to jump up and wanted to go over to him but i froze in my steps when i saw her standing there calmly. I knew i was not in a place to go over and could only stand there and hope he would stop. He did but he just took his things and left with her. There i was left in a state of shock and confusion to clean up the mess. Although honestly i had no obligation to but i was still worried for him. Messaged him to know he was fine, talked to my referees to help so that they would not write an incident report or else he might get banned, ended up being dragged for kopi conselling session by my senior refs. Sianz. But from this incident i learnt where i stand, a nobody, as he was not concerned about how i was although he did message to let me know he was home. He wasn't appreciative of what i did nor aplogetic for what he did. Well.. let me repeat: I'm a fool. And i still am. Why? I met him for dinner today 'cos he needed me to help borrow some books from school. Ended up missing my refs' meeting and getting scholding but heck. I enjoyed myself and realised one thing: I can't give him up but it isn't a problem anymore 'cos i'm no longer hoping for much. I'm contented with how we are. Sitting there talking nonsense and being able to joke about 'us'. We joked about the incident above, he knew what i went through... we joked about how i was blind to like him, how i'm so nice to him, and about cutting all connections with him after the inter-con but him still needing me around to help him borrow books, take care of his dog, talk nonsense... Well, i think that's one reason why i like him. I feel comfortable and happy around him. And i don't see a problem anymore as we're both fine with knowing things and still friends like how we are. I will still continue to like him with him knowing till i don't know when...
