My world has lost its colour.
All i see is black and white,
and shades of grey.
I don't want the world to see me like this.
I need my haven of peace.
To friends who care:
Thank you for walking with me all this way.
To those unknown:
Please give me my haven of peace.
~^* About The Gal *^~
~^* Blog *^~
~^* Memories *^~
~^* Links *^~
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~^* About Me *^~
A girl by the name of iCeZ.
Born on 17th March 1983.
Enjoys Music: Listening, Playing & Singing inclusive.
Also crazy about basketball with the Slingers but moving further and further from it.
Pain Addiction = Wakeboarding.
I'm CoLd... So DoNt ToUcH Me...
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 Confusion Strikes...
Well, how should i put it? Guess i'm just confused and lost about what i want. Or maybe it's just the emptiness i'm hoping to fill. But the sight of someone that day brought thoughts back into my mind. Someone i had a crush on. Well, don't know who might just chance to read this but nevermind, the path for everyone is gonna split apart soon with graduation approaching. Monday noon, went back to school to hand in my assignment. Went up and when the lift door opened, i saw Jessica and a group of friends, and amongst them, stood him. Felt kinda shocked since i seldom see him around nowadays. We just took a look at each other till Jessica said hi, to which i tried to regain my composure but managed a weak hi in reply. My heart skipped a beat and my mind went chaotic thereafter. Actually went to see where he was after handing in my assignment and managed to find him. Walked past each other like another 2 times but didn't say a word. It seems like we had never known each other. Now memories of the past floods back. We first started out at coursemates who didn't know each other although we were in the same group for two tutorials. Only started talking much later during CED when we both sat at the back and chatted over many things. I remember about once when we talked about his new apartment and how he'll be affected by earthquake shockwaves. About the places he wanted to visit 'cos of his craze over skyscrapers...It was then that i slowly started to notice him and developed a crush on him. But there were times as well when he was moody and ignored me. I remember the time i tried to talk to him but he ignored me and talked to Alan instead. I learnt later that he was worried about a friend. Then i learnt about the story behind his windbreaker and how it was a parting gift from a girl who bought the exact same gift as him. So there was someone special to him, and some said he was attached. But nevertheless, the liking i had for him slowly grew. And i ever did nearly break up with Adrian over him 'cos he found out. Times were shortlived and we no longer had classes together. But i would still look out for him and there was the time i specially took photos of the IFC tower in HongKong during my trip for him and emailed him 'cos i knew he liked skyscrapers. Then i did something crazy, or perhaps i should say the crazy one was Renee. She was looking for OGLs for FOC and i said i would go if he did. The next moment i knew, she went straight to approach him and got a yes. orientation was the best memory i had. I remember how it started out with us not talking since we were in different groups. It was only until the at night when he asked about my leg. Bad knee was huanting me again. Then i chanced to meet him during Fright night waiting for it to end. Didn't know it was him at first since everyone was dressed up and he had a mask on. Until he was like,"how can you not know me? The one that likes your bag and talks to you in class." I was surprised but we started to talk while waiting. Then came the next evening, everyone was downstairs in the canteen having dinner while i was walking around upstairs attending to my calls since i had bball matters. Then i saw him approaching and asked why if he wasn't having dinner. But without responding, he came over and wanted to jokingly hit me with the whistle we all had. That starting a catching game with us running around campus. Didn't really chase after him for long since my knee was hurting. But it was fun. But we didn't get to talk. The next thing i knew, he left the camp for some reason or another. Then everything fell apart as when school started, we kinda noticed that he seemed to be avoiding me and my cliche. Karen was the one to notice as she had to work with Mark. Everytime she was near, he would leave the group. It happened as well with me. The most obvious instance was when i was with karen in the canteen. We saw him approaching and he suddenly changed path so as not to walk pass us. Things just continued that way. We slowly saw less of each other since we didn't have any tutorials together and lectures were few. Now, we hardly know each other... I thought i had forgotten, but once again the memories flood back. It's not that i want anything. Just that thoughts come back and confusion strikes...
