My world has lost its colour.
All i see is black and white,
and shades of grey.
I don't want the world to see me like this.
I need my haven of peace.
To friends who care:
Thank you for walking with me all this way.
To those unknown:
Please give me my haven of peace.
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A girl by the name of iCeZ.
Born on 17th March 1983.
Enjoys Music: Listening, Playing & Singing inclusive.
Also crazy about basketball with the Slingers but moving further and further from it.
Pain Addiction = Wakeboarding.
I'm CoLd... So DoNt ToUcH Me...
Wednesday, January 07, 2009 Lost...
The verse that reached out to me today... "I looked up to the hills. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and the Earth" [Psalms 121:1-2]
Today is the start of that 12 hour working day every week where we know not day or night. It can get really draining, having to maintain our focus and energy going throughout till the end of the day. I surprisingly made it through. Gotta thank Sandy for having provided that little chat when I needed it today.
But after it all, I was surprised that I was still not drained out enough to want to concuss in bed today, unlike the previous few days where dinner and a short walk around managed to do the job. I wasn't really hungry despite only eating a bun and 2 siewmais for lunch during duty. But I grabbed bubble tea nearby with Winnie and Su, and a hotdog (for the musturd) with Kevin after. But things didn't wanna stay in... I realised my body has once again gone into 'overdrive mode'...
And honestly so has my mind. I'm still lost. Not knowing what to think despite trying to say that I don't wanna think anymore. But yet, it's a constant struggle within, in hope of maintaining my sanity. Told Sandy today, it's actually not that simple and not what people think it is. I've been through it and I know... and thus I don't wanna fall back in that state again as now my only lifeline is a promise I made before.
Thus, it was how the verse above reached out to me. I need to recognise and accept my need for help. And then to understand that help will come from God if I put my trust in Him. Many times when we have problems, we know not who to turn to and try to solve it on our own, forcing our way through. We end up locking ourselves up, hurting ourselves. We fail to realise that God is there for us to turn to when we are in need of help and that He will be there to help us, to lead and guide us. We can refuse the help of Man but we cannot refuse the help of God. 'cos He is ever-present, ever-knowing and most importantly, ever-loving. But all these will only happen when we trust in Him to take control of our lives and guide us through.
So today, the prayer I said for both of us was that God will be our help through trying times. That when we ever feel lost for what-so-ever reason, He will be there to guide us through and teach us what to do. We will never be alone. So with this, I bid you Rest Well... Amen.
